Thursday, February 3, 2011

the great game whose name we cannot refer to or we'll be fined

Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I'm talking about the Su...the Sup....hang on, let me try to get it out. The SUPE... dang. I just can't. Literally, I can't. Which, in my opinion, is ridiculous, but if these people want to trademark two highly generic words into a phrase no one else can use, then that's their own prerogative. So, I can call it the Big Game or the Thanksgiving of Snack Food, but for all intensive purposes for today's post, I'll just refer to it as the "Steeler Slaughter". ;)

For many moons I've had theories on the supposed winners of these big games. For some moons my theories have been completely inaccurate, but for others, they've been perfectly on point. Like last year. Drew Brees is cute and therefore the Saints won the "Big Game".

My theories will skim the line of accuracy again this year as I predict the winner of the Thanksgiving of Snack Food. First of all, I despise the Steelers. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've never appreciated or liked them. Maybe it's their horridly tacky colors. Maybe it's their name "Steelers". More than likely, it's their fans, which interestingly enough seem to make Charlotte, NC their second mecca. I see more Steelers junk here than anywhere else...except Pittsburgh I'm assuming. I don't know why exactly other than the reason other northerners come and infiltrate the south...our weather and our women...but I digress.

Anywho, so because I loathe the Steelers so much, I predict that the Packers will win. But beyond that, my theory expands to a conspiratorial level. 1) Green is my favorite color. Green is not only one of the Packers' team colors but is in their name. 2) A meat packer can kill a steel worker with a meat hook. 3) There are more cows in Wisconsin. I eat/drink cow products. Cows cannot survive in pollution (i.e. Pittsburgh).

So, Green Bay wins.

*NOTE: If it was up to the quarterbacks to make the would still be Green Bay even though neither the Ben nor the Aaron are really that cute. The end.

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