Thursday, September 27, 2012

how I root for football teams

I have interesting views on football. Henceforth you are now privy to the kind of thoughts that run through my head any given Saturday or Sunday (in this particular case).

There are some teams that, to me, have awesome uniforms. And though most guys would disagree with me, I actually LOVE the Seattle Seahawks uniform.

My fave colors! Lime green, blue and white. Maybe it's not very masculine, but it sure is CUTE!
Other NFL uniforms I enjoy are the alternative Chargers and Panthers uniforms. Gag me with a spoon that this Panthers pic is of Scam Newton. Vom.
I probably get more excited about football uniforms and team colors than most people. Why? Well, because I love color more than most people. Though I have a few favorite football teams that I'll always pull for, there are some games where I'm not particularly invested in either team. How do I know who to root for? Whichever team's colors I like better. 

If both teams I'm not invested in have bleh colors... like, the Ravens and the Jaguars for example, I'll pull for the team whose mascot is more fearsome. Imagine if a Raven and a Jaguar were in a cage fight. Who would win? The Jaguar obvi. So, I'd pull for them.

If a team has an exceptionally attractive quarterback, chances are, I'll root for that team. If a team has a butthole for a quarterback, chances are I won't root for that team.

Cuties on my "yes" list: Jay Cutler, the Drew, Mark Sanchez. I'll root for any of these teams!
Bleh quarterbacks: Big Ben and Tom Brady. Eh. I don't care for either quarterback OR either team Coincidence?!
Though I've thought extensively on these things, I've never prioritized them. It's sort of a snap decision that happens on game day and it goes something like this...

[my thoughts] Okay, the Vikings and the Giants are playing. The colors of both are okay...a mascot match up might be interesting but I heart Eli Manning because he's Presh. So, go Giants!

[or] The Lions are playing the Rams. Both colors are about the same...neither quarterback is hot...but a lion would definitely win in a cage match against a ram. So, go Lions!

[this one actually happened] The Redskins are playing the Cowboys. Team colors...whatevs. The mascot match up is basically a repeat of the entire 19th century American West and thus, not interesting. However, Tony Romo is cuter than the Redskins quarterback. But Tony Romo is the quarterback for the Cowboys...whom I hate, so that cancels out his hotness. Thus, I will root for the Redskins. 

Am I weird? Yes.

Is my theory flawed? Yes.

Is it shallow? Absolutely.

But it works for me.



  1. Ha! Me too... I've been examining all the uniform changes in the NCAA. Fit is of the utmost importance!

    xo, tasha
    twenty-something blog

  2. Haha I always pick teams based on the most attractive player and/or their uniforms! And sometimes I'm actually right haha!

  3. Um, why bother watching a game if you aren't invested in either team?

  4. Thank you for recognizing Eli Manning's presh-ness. I want to squeeze his little face and love him forever!

  5. those uniforms aren't even real for the chargers and panthers. Also the lime green jerseys for the seahawks are not worn anymore they are the old jerseys... get your shit straight.

    1. Well of course they aren't real uniforms. They are alternative "novelty" uniforms. But just because they aren't worn on the field (either now or ever) doesn't mean I can't like them.

      So...troll, get your sh*t straight. Peace and love.

  6. how are the lion and rams colors remotely the same? are you color blind??????

  7. Hello troll. You're back! :) Happiness in my little soul.

    Also, no, not color blind. Actually, I've been told I have excellent color taste. You'll notice I said "about the same". They both have dark blue. While the rams have yellow and detroit has silver, they both do have dark blue in their uniform colors and, to my overall point, are generally boring color combinations.

    Okay, now your turn for rebuttle.


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