how I root for football teams

I have interesting views on football. Henceforth you are now privy to the kind of thoughts that run through my head any given Saturday or Sunday (in this particular case).

There are some teams that, to me, have awesome uniforms. And though most guys would disagree with me, I actually LOVE the Seattle Seahawks uniform.

My fave colors! Lime green, blue and white. Maybe it's not very masculine, but it sure is CUTE!

Other NFL uniforms I enjoy are the alternative Chargers and Panthers uniforms. Gag me with a spoon that this Panthers pic is of Scam Newton. Vom.

I probably get more excited about football uniforms and team colors than most people. Why? Well, because I love color more than most people. Though I have a few favorite football teams that I'll always pull for, there are some games where I'm not particularly invested in either team. How do I know who to root for? Whichever team's colors I like better. 

If both teams I'm not invested in have bleh colors... like, the Ravens and the Jaguars for example, I'll pull for the team whose mascot is more fearsome. Imagine if a Raven and a Jaguar were in a cage fight. Who would win? The Jaguar obvi. So, I'd pull for them.

If a team has an exceptionally attractive quarterback, chances are, I'll root for that team. If a team has a butthole for a quarterback, chances are I won't root for that team.

Cuties on my "yes" list: Jay Cutler, the Drew, Mark Sanchez. I'll root for any of these teams!

Bleh quarterbacks: Big Ben and Tom Brady. Eh. I don't care for either quarterback OR either team Coincidence?!

Though I've thought extensively on these things, I've never prioritized them. It's sort of a snap decision that happens on game day and it goes something like this...

[my thoughts] Okay, the Vikings and the Giants are playing. The colors of both are okay...a mascot match up might be interesting but I heart Eli Manning because he's Presh. So, go Giants!

[or] The Lions are playing the Rams. Both colors are about the same...neither quarterback is hot...but a lion would definitely win in a cage match against a ram. So, go Lions!

[this one actually happened] The Redskins are playing the Cowboys. Team colors...whatevs. The mascot match up is basically a repeat of the entire 19th century American West and thus, not interesting. However, Tony Romo is cuter than the Redskins quarterback. But Tony Romo is the quarterback for the Cowboys...whom I hate, so that cancels out his hotness. Thus, I will root for the Redskins. 

Am I weird? Yes.

Is my theory flawed? Yes.

Is it shallow? Absolutely.

But it works for me.