why am I still single?

via

The title of this post is not intended to be a question for you to answer. It's intended to initiate thought and reflection.

In fancy "English" terms, it's a rhetorical question.

So, why am I still single?

A brief moment of reflection gives me a few reasons that I might initially perceive to be why I am still single.

1. Unattractiveness
2. Controlling personality
3. Introverted nature
4. Strong morals
5. Reluctance to compromise

My mind instantly comes up with those reasons. I'd call these my "bad thoughts". Or, more appropriately, my "wordly thoughts". These are the most easily explainable reasons as to why I'm still single. It's either that no one can put up with my personality/nature or they aren't attracted to me.

Now, I don't necessarily think that those are the reasons I'm still single, but that's what my mind instantly comes up with.

But my heart knows that I'm still single for other reasons.

My heart knows that my being single is part of a masterful plan of God. My heart knows that being single comes with a tremendous burden that God deems me fit enough to bear. My heart also knows that God's timing and plan is absolutely amazing.

Why can't my mind know these things? Why can't my mind be at peace when I get frustrated at not knowing why I'm still single? Why can't my mind listen to my heart when it tells me to be patient?

Because I'm naturally a very impatient person. I can't help it. I always operate at a high speed. I walk fast, I talk fast, I work fast, I think fast, I eat fast...I just do things quickly.

This is the one part of my life where I can't do anything fast. And that frustrates me immensely. I'm 27 years old and I'm still slowly, laboriously waiting on my Mr. Right.

And I should say that there have been a few Mr. Rights. There was a Mr. Right Now. He was there. He was interested. He was available. There was Mr. Almost Right. He had almost everything I thought I needed...except for some of the most important things. There was Mr. Right Away who wanted to jump in way too quickly (even for me!!).

But no real Mr. Right. The other Mr. Rights satisfied my mind but not my heart and that is ultimately what only the real Mr. Right can satisfy.

Because my heart knows what is Right and True. My heart knows God's plan for me. My heart knows that all things work for the good of those who love Him. My mind is what has to catch up. This is my eternal struggle.

So, with that. Um...bye. ;)

[This post is not intended to be sad or depressing, just reflective. Thoughtful. Deep. You know, all that stuff.]