Friday, April 10, 2015

Things I Do Not Regret About My [Non-Traditional] Wedding

Can you believe it's almost been a year since M and I tied the knot? Sunday, April 12 will be a year that I've been married. (the sappy post will come on've been warned)

I consider my wedding to have been fairly non-traditional by modern standards. To be perfectly honest, my wedding was a little more in sync with the weddings in the 1940s and 1950s than the modern wedding. By most current standards my wedding was different and I'm 100% okay with that.

Here are some things I do not regret about my non-traditional (although it was more like a vintage-y) wedding:

//I do not regret asking close friends and family for favors
From loaning me cake stands and serving dishes to discounts on wedding programs, I called in favors to friends and family for my wedding. After all, I was a girl on a budget. But I absolutely hate asking people for favors. I feel like I owe them for eternity afterwards. But I sucked it up and did it. And I don't regret it one bit.

//I do not regret setting a (very low) budget for my wedding
$2500 to be exact. I only went slightly over. Read the post on my wedding budget. And, I do not regret it one bit because we had money to buy things for our new place (like furniture) and didn't go into debt or deplete my family of money. Win-win-win!

//I do not regret getting married in a church
Definitely not the norm nowadays, but my church has had such an impact on my life that I simply couldn't think of having a wedding anywhere else. Plus, by having it at a large indoor location, I didn't have to worry about the Big Three (the elements, comfort (AC/Heat) and parking). I would have nightmares about that kind of stuff.

//I do not regret that I was very particular and intentional about my music choices
Music means so much to me. I wanted the music of my wedding to help craft an interesting and memorable experience both for me and my guests. Getting married in a church didn't mean we had to use traditional songs or even "churchy music" for that matter. Some of the artists we used were Stevie Wonder, Ray LaMontagne, John Williams (the composer), Switchfoot, Eric Clapton and Guns N Roses. :) Read more about my musical choices and you can listen to some of the songs we chose. And yes, I allowed M to process in to the Darth Vader theme from Star Wars. And there was a special lighting cue during this time with black and white lights flickering on and off. It was quite a memorable experience and people STILL talk about it!

//I do not regret having a very small bridal party of just my sisters
In keeping to a simple and non-traditional wedding, I opted to just have both of my sisters as my bridesmaid and my niece as my flower girl.

//I do not regret having a "throwback" reception
I say throwback because it was sort of a nod to the wedding receptions of the 40s and 50s that were simply held in the church hall and were punch and cookies and a wedding cake. We had a little more than that, but I didn't serve a meal. I didn't hire a DJ. I didn't have "dances". (none of which I wanted anyway) We had a gathering of our guests in the church lobby area and we had theme tables set up in my wedding colors and with some of our favorite things. We had a milk & cookies table, a candy buffet, a cake table and a "Man" table full of salty snacks like beef jerky, pretzels, chex mix, etc. Read about my decision to have a small reception here and see the actual reception photos here.

//I do not regret not tanning prior to my wedding
My paleness is part of my identity. Sure I do some bronzer in the summer on my arms and legs like everyone else, but I intentionally didn't do spray tan or tanning beds before my wedding. I didn't want to look different...meaning...not like myself on my wedding day. I'm pale. It's my thing. I'm okay with it. I didn't want to risk looking streaky and/or orange or (my biggest fear) ruining clothing/dress/etc by getting the tan on it. And, let's be honest, tanning beds aren't an option for me. I've tried. I just freckle, peel and go back to white.

//I do not regret showing my tattoo and arms
I always thought I'd wear a cardigan to both cover up my tattoo on my shoulder and my arms (which are a part of my body I do not love). But the dress I chose simply wouldn't have looked right with a cardigan. [I love my tattoo, but I just don't show it a lot. I'm pretty modest when it comes to baring arms and chest in clothing.] It took lots of courage to bare my arms (and tattoo...which people usually don't see unless they go to the pool or beach with me) to everyone but I don't regret it. I don't look at the pictures and cringe. Again, it's me. My big-armed, tattooed, paleness. :)


  1. Happy almost anniversary!!!! Can't believe it was a year ago already for both of us! Crazy!!!

  2. I think it's so important to do your wedding day in a way that reflects you. A lot of people do what they think they're supposed to do instead. We didn't and it was a really great day that felt like US. Isn't that what's important?

  3. This is a lovely post. I love your themed tables ideas of goodies & snacks. I'm a big believer that the wedding day is for you and your no need to follow a bunch of rules, do what makes you happy. Sounds like that is exactly what you did. Happy anniversary!

  4. It was a lovely day, April! Happy anniversary!

  5. They helped us put together a great menu for the vow renewal, from the consultation to the tasting to the actual event. They had biscuits and gravy, cornbread muffins, fried catfish, jambalaya, enormous pieces of fried chicken

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