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Thursday, May 14, 2015

Hewitt's Thoughts v.4

Hello bipeds. Hewitt, here.


I've taken over mom's blog again today to share some of my thoughts with you. You can catch up on some of my other blog posts here, here and here.

My thoughts on fruit: I'm convinced I was a fruit bat in a previous life. So far, I've decided that I love apples, bananas, watermelon, pineapple, honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberries and blueberries. The fruit I love the most is grapes but mom won't let me have them. That jerk.

My thoughts on storm doors: This is a requirement in mom and dad's new house. How else will I survey my kingdom when I am only 18 inches tall?

My thoughts on peanut butter: Give me ALL THE PEANUT BUTTER. That is all.

My thoughts on the American work week: Don't get in your head that you need to pattern your work weeks after the Europeans who tend to work only 4 days a week. Keep your work weeks to 5 days please. The longer you are home...the more you are bothering me and the fewer naps I get.

My thoughts on dogs with middle or two names: [Holds paw up] Stop. And I'm looking at you, mother, who has all my stuff monogrammed with HCP in honor of my middle name "Clarence". Dogs do not need middle names. Dogs don't even need two names. I don't even know what my original name was...the shelter just started calling me Hewitt and it stuck. [April's note: This is actually the name of the road he was hit by a car on. The vet that treated him didn't know his name so that's what they named him. Shhh....don't tell Hewitt. He'll probably get a complex.]

My thoughts on Mom's exercise ball: I have never hated something more vehemently in my entire life. Except for grooming. And baths.

My thoughts on dogs wearing clothes: Fellow dogs suffering this horrible fate of wearing clothing...the secret is to pee on whatever your human puts on you right away. Your human will be disgusted. They may try once more but if you continue to pee on the clothing it won't be an issue. Trust me on this one.

My thoughts on car rides: They are cool provided that I have the following things: a blanket or towel to rest upon, car snacks (carrots or a fruit), the air vent blowing on my face and a consistent speed. This stopping and starting and turning mess is for the birds. Also, if said car trip means I end up at the vet...or worse...the groomer...just leave me home.

Welp, those are today's thoughts. See you around jerks.


2 comments:

  1. LOLOL @ see you around jerks.

    Also dying laughing at the peeing on the clothes. OY.

    My dogs love carrots, watermelon, bananas, cantaloupe, etc. too.

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  2. I love Hewitt's name...and he's so darn cute!! Loved hearing all of his thoughts today too :)

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Comments make me SO happy! Go ahead...make my day. ;)

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