5 Reasons

My mother unearthed this gem while moving. At the young age of 9, I was apparently very in tune with my adult sarcasm, because this mini-dissertation is laden with it. Take a read below and allow me to point out a few things afterward.

 

In case you can't read it, here is the text: (grammatical/spelling errors not removed)

 

5 reasons why I should obey my parent is because number one I get privaleges like tv, getting to go outside, getting to play with my freinds, and getting to do special activityes.

 

Another reason is that my parents will actually listen to my ideas, and they will actually "have" time for me.

 

Another reason is obeying my parents is good because my parents will also maybe award me or praise me which doesn't happen very often.

 

Yet another reason is because they will trust me more than they do now. I think they are a little hard on me just because of my teacher.

 

My last reason is because I won't be scared of them anymore right now I am terrified of them.

 

Done April

 

Neither my mother nor I remember what I did to have to write this as punishment, but it somehow involved a teacher. Not exactly sure about that. Nevertheless, we should discuss the most noteworthy points of the letter.

 

"...they will actually 'have' time for me." - YES, young April. You have learned the power of guilt and quotations in 7 little words.

 

"...award me or praise me which doesn't happen very often." - This was probably a jab at the fact that unlike most of my friends, my parents never rewarded me for good grades or when I did chores around the house. It was expected and simply a cost of living in my parents's home, eating their food and using up their air conditioning. (Because, in the South, using up the AC is a frequently used analogy for draining money...because it's hot down here!)

 

"...I won't be scared of them anymore right now I am terrified of them." - Ah yes, young April. You have again understood the power of emotive words when used by a 9 year old in relation to your parents. Brava. But really, I don't think I was terrified of my parents (like the kind of terrified where DSS has to be called) but, like The Lord, I did have a healthy and ever-present fear of them. The kind of fear that one might have about lions or perhaps a thunderstorm. It's there, you must respect it...or you will suffer the consequences. So my use of the words "scared" and "terrifed" seemed like an attempt to toy with my parents' emotions and make them think they were being too hard on me for whatever I've done.

 

This letter, though only 116 words (as evidenced by the word count in the left margin), provides great insight into adult April...who still uses sarcasm as a second language and would much rather convey my emotions via written word than in person. There's also a hint of silent rebellion which still courses through me as an adult. Perhaps the adult April isn't so different from the young April after all?

DONE April ;)