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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

let's be honest: online dating

First off, please pardon the fact that this post may sound a bit like a PSA. I apologize.

Today, I want to talk about online dating.

[gasp!]

If you know me fairly well IRL, you'd know that I'm a big proponent of online dating.

[gasp] WHAT? [gasp]

Yup. I'm PRO-online dating...when it's done in a safe and smart way. As a matter of fact, all of my relationships (as an adult) were are result of online dating or a website. (One was a result of myspace which wasn't really a dating site but, you get the idea.)

I know many people who have met their significant other online and I, myself, have met some good guys online.

But for every normal guy, there are definitely some creepers.

Like the guy who proceeded to play footsie with me under the table on our first date. Or the guy that was at least 15 years older than the picture he'd sent me. Or the guy that stared at my mouth throughout dinner and never met my eyes.

Wait, wait. That was the same guy. Yeah, he was a REAL winner.

Anywho, when I ventured into the world of online dating, there were a few tips/warnings that really helped (and will continue to help) me. Perhaps I can share them with you?

1. Trust your gut. I've said this before regarding something else, but it's still true. If you think something sounds too good to be true, then it IS. If you have a weird feeling about a situation or a person, avoid it.

2. Take it slow. Don't message someone and decide to meet them the next day. You need some time to get to know a person a bit more. I prefer to message, email, talk on the phone and THEN meet. In that order. It just helps to pace things out. Trust me. ;)

3. Have a back up plan. Just in case you happen to meet Mr. Old-Footsie-Mouth-Staring-Man, you should have a pre-arranged "out". I mean, you could just get up and leave, but, that would be rude and I always try to be as nice as possible. My "out" was my sister calling me if I texted her a word or words and stating there was a emergency with Hewitt and I needed to come home. Dogs, kids and cars are good excuses. Sick family members or drunk roommates and coworkers that need a DD work well too.

Did I just say that? Hey, sometimes you just gotta fudge the truth a bit.

4. Tell someone. Before I met ANYONE I told at least 2 people where I was going, the name and description of the person I was going with and when I was supposed to meet them. For one of the dates, I had to text/call one of "my people" after a certain amount of time to tell them I was okay. If they didn't hear from me by a certain point they were to call/text me or come to where I was. Once, to not seem rude while texting my sister that I was okay, I played it off like "I'm just letting my sis know you're not a serial rapist who wants my skin". Or something like that. They will (hopefully) appreciate your honesty.

5. Be yourself. Don't try to be someone else because it will create a disconnect from the person that this other person has gotten to know over the last few weeks/months. Just relax and be yourself!

So, those are my tips. I do realize that I might go a bit overboard, but you can't ever be TOO safe these days and I'd much rather laugh about being Ms. Safety Overkill than Ms. Killed. BAHAHAHA. Okay, sorry.

Don't be scared to venture into online dating. I enjoyed it and hope to foray into again in the near future. If you have specific questions about online dating, feel free to shoot me an email at aprilanne147 [at] hotmail [dot] com. And if you have any hot, single, Christian brothers or cousins....

Heh.

*I cannot be held liable for any really bad dates or relationships resulting from online dating. Hey, we all have to go through the toads and frogs to get our prince, right? I'm just still getting through the toads. ;)




6 comments:

  1. I met my husband on match.com. True story. We've been married for almost 4 years and together for almost 7. I also know lots of happy couples who met online!

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    Replies
    1. Yay! Honestly, I think it's going to become the norm fairly soon. :)

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  2. This is a great read. Thanks for sharing us these kind of information! :)

    college dating

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  3. Great advice! I too met my fiancé on match.com. I have to admit I was very sceptical when I joined the website, kind of thought I'd just practise my flirting by email ( I hadn't dated in a long time! ) Anyway he was the best surprise I could have dreamed of. A true gentleman - I didnt know they actually existed! I'd also like to add that I think that websites where you have to pay to join tend to have more serious types of people who are looking for a relationship. I have had friends who joined free dating websites and met a lot of men looking for affairs. I'm not saying that's always the case but it just seems to be the experience of my friends.

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  4. I know lots of couples who met online, including my brother and his wife. I met my husband, B, in a coffee shop. How '90s is that?!?

    Maybe that one date was so old that he was deaf and lip reading? I kid :)

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  5. Get me right, too much dating kinda sucks. It's like you go to buy a juice or whatever and can't come up with the desicion which one and you're still single, non-understood and miserable.

    ReplyDelete

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