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Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Why I Could Never Winter in the Mid-North

Pre-post side note: I may have coined the term "mid-north". I've certainly never heard it before it popped into my head. But by "mid-north" I mean the northern part of the mid-west: Michigan, Minnesota, Illinois, Wisconsin...North Dakota...um...and the other ones.

I could never live in the mid-north. Well, I could never live in the mid-north all year. Heck, I'd take those mild summer temps with virtually no humidity for sure! But, winter in the mid-north? No thank you. It's not that I dislike this geographical region of our country... it's just that I don't think I could survive a winter there. Below are completely reasonable and sound justifications for why April could never be a UP-er. (does anyone even get that reference??)

1. I would blend in.
I am white. No, my race is Caucasian, but my skin color is white. It's actually kind of a mother-of-pearl. So, if you give snow a couple of days to lose it's clean, white hue and develop more of a off-white color, you pretty much have my skin color. That, coupled with the fact that I have light hair basically gives me built in camouflage.

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2. My eyes! Oh, my eyes!
My eyes are really sensitive to light. Sometimes, if I walk outside on a particularly cloudy but bright day (not necessarily sunny) my eyes start to water. Whenever it snows in NC (like maybe once a year if we're lucky) I have to wear sunglasses because the snow hurts my eyes and makes them water. Isn't that called something?

3. I'm not particularly fond of coats.
I don't love wearing coats. I mean sure, if I'm going to go outside and play in the slush snow, I'll wear a coat and if it's raining, I'll wear one...but to wear a coat for warmth? That just seems pointless. I walk from my house to my car, my car to my work building and back. I hardly ever wear coats because usually once the heat is going in my car I get too hot and have to take it off anyway. Plus, coats are kind of restrictive when you need your arms free to apply mascara on your way to work.

(See!!!! No coat even with snow on the ground!!)

4. I don't really do winter sports.
I've been skiing before but honestly, it just scares the living daylights out of me and I almost always snow-plow the entire way down the blue slopes praying that I won't die. It's just a risky behavior that I don't love. If I can barely motivate myself enough to ski, then there is absolutely no chance I'd ever snowboard or any other winter sports. No thanks.

5. I'm allergic to feathers.
If you live in the mid-north, you probably own something filled with down. A coat, a blanket, a vest...something. Well, I'm allergic to down. (And apparently...weirdly...down alternative too?!) So, I could never get warm if I lived in the mid-north because I would have to settle for inferior fabrics/fillings.

So, that's why I couldn't ever winter in the mid-north. Now I'm sure you've learned way more than you ever wanted to know about me and how my twisted brain works. :)

I'm linking up with Karly Kim and Glossy Blonde.

Glossy Blonde
 
Happy Tuesday y'all! Stay warm! :)

3 comments:

  1. This is great! I live in North Carolina too, and this cold weather is about to do me in! I probably wear too many coats though -- I seem to be cold all the time!
    xo A Southern Style

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  2. Well, I suppose Nebraska might fall into the "mid-north" region, but it's not as bad as Minnesota, or the UP!. I don't know how I survive the coldest days here. I just stay home if it snows more than 5 inches on a given day. And I have to wear sunglasses even on cloudy days, because my eyes can't handle any amount of brightness!

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  3. I don't do coats either. My co-workers always ask me where my coat is. I'm like "I have a cardigan on". I don't see myself ever moving back north again.

    ReplyDelete

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