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Monday, July 27, 2015

Hewitt's Thoughts V.5 aka Why I'm a Stalker

What's up bipeds? Hewitt here. I'm taking over Mom's blog again today. I've done it a few times before. (click here, here, here and here...yes, Mom had to help me hyperlink those)

Today, I want to talk about why I'm a stalker.


It's quite simple, really. I am a stalker...aka...a quiet and stealth observer of humans because humans are interesting and quite often have delicious snacks. In the picture below I am observing my dad on his cellular device. He's watching Youtube videos and since I have no thumbs or phone, I cannot unless I watch with him.


Other times, I feel it important to keep an eye on the humans in case they do something strange...like start running or bring snacks into the living room.


Often, you'll find me kitchen stalking. This is very simply done to remain as close to the food as possible without getting the boot out of the kitchen. Or, if not in the kitchen, wherever the food is. 




Sometimes, I stalk just because I'm creepy af. I want to keep my reputation as a weirdo and what better way to do it than to stare at you with only one eye or half of my head visible. I'm watching you...quiet as a mouse. Barely moving and breathing...in an attempt to observe you and your behaviors.


Every snack you make, every dish you bake. Every single day, every time you play, I'll be watching you.


Peace out, jerks. H.



2 comments:

  1. hahahhahaah. My dogs are food stalkers too. The photo of you eating with him right there is a familiar sight.

    ReplyDelete

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